🍓 The Food Fight

Who plays who

• A — The Instigator: you threw the first strawberry and you have no regrets.
• B — The Target: you said this was a bad idea, and you are already covered in cream.
• A starts it. Whoever is the messiest at the end of Act 3 leads Act 4.

What you need

• Whipped cream, chocolate sauce, strawberries — body-safe, edible products only
• Everything stays body-safe and edible: never near eyes or mucous membranes, and never inside the body
• A groundsheet, or a floor you can genuinely mop, and towels you do not mind binning
• Aprons or old shirts, with hair tied back on both sides

Act 1 — 🕯️ Setup

The floor is covered, the bowls are out, and the two of you are standing on opposite sides of the room with a strawberry each. Somebody has already been hit. This is a food fight first, and everything else comes later.

Beats

• Actually fight. Throw food, chase, dodge, and get properly messy.
• Nothing aimed at a face, and nothing that could go in an eye.
• Both of you stay on the groundsheet, however far the cream goes.

Lines to say

• "That's it. You started this."
• "You've got cream in your hair. I'm not helping."
• "Rule one: nobody wipes anything off until I say."

Act 2 — 🔥 Build

The fighting has stopped being about winning. Somebody has stopped dodging, and the bowl is now being used on purpose. It stops being a fight and starts being deliberate.

Beats

• Put something on the other person on purpose, then clean it off slowly.
• Stay outside the body, and away from eyes and mucous membranes.
• The floor is a mess and neither of you is fixing it now.

Lines to say

• "Hold still. You're wearing dinner."
• "This one's mine. Don't waste it."
• "You look better like this than you did clean."

Act 3 — ⚡ Escalate

The fight is over and the messier of you has lost, which means the messier of you now decides what happens on the floor. The winner of the fight is not in charge of this act.

Beats

• The messiest person leads. The other does as they are told.
• Use what is left in the bowls, on purpose, on the other person.
• Everything stays body-safe and edible, and away from the face.

Lines to say

• "You started it. So lie down and let me finish it."
• "You're going to stay still while I take my time."
• "Keep your hands off and your mouth shut."

Act 4 — 💥 Climax

The bowls are empty and the floor is beyond saving. There is nothing left to throw and nobody is standing up. Nobody is wiping anything off yet.

Beats

• No narration and no more food. It turns into the thing the whole fight was for.
• Stay on the groundsheet, on the floor, where the mess already is.
• Every consent rule is still live, all the way to the end.

Lines to say

• "Come here. Now."
• "Don't stop."
• "Look at me."

Act 5 — 🤍 Aftercare

The floor is a battlefield and you are both still lying in the middle of it. Nobody eats until the floor is clean.

Beats

• Shower together and get properly clean — food into the bin, not the drain.
• Mop the floor before anyone sits down. Nobody wants to find it in the morning.
• Eat something real, sitting on the clean floor, and say one sentence each about the fight.

Lines to say

• "Rematch next month. Same rules."
• "I'd have won if you hadn't cheated."
• "You looked ridiculous. It worked."

Aftercare

Shower properly together, food in the bin and not the drain, and mop the floor before either of you sits down.,Order something real and eat it on the clean floor, with one sentence each about the fight.,Check honestly that nothing got anywhere near an eye or anywhere it should not have.

Ground rules and consent

• Body-safe, edible products only. Nothing goes near eyes or mucous membranes, and nothing goes inside the body — if anything gets in an eye, everything stops and we rinse it.
• Allergies named out loud first. Nothing frozen, nothing sharp, and nothing with a pip aimed at a face.
• "Napkin" stops the whole fight where it stands, hands up, and the food goes in the bin.
• Nobody throws anything at a face, and nobody escalates to anything other than food.

There is a fuller guide in Massage, properly, if you want it.

Frequently asked