🧹 The Personal Maid

Who plays who

• A — The Maid: you clean this house, you are very good at your job, and the job description keeps growing.
• B — The Owner: you hired the maid, you are paying for the whole house, and you keep adding rooms.
• A leads Acts 1–2 with the work. B takes over the lead once the work is done.

What you need

• A feather duster, a cloth and a bucket — the duster is also the safeword prop
• An apron, and something to wear that is easy to work in
• A list — real, or written on the spot — of the rooms being "cleaned"
• A towel and water for two, because the work is genuinely physical
• Nothing that actually needs cleaning, if you would rather not bother

Act 1 — 🕯️ Setup

The maid arrives with a duster, a cloth and a list of rooms, and the owner meets them at the door with two more rooms added by hand. The uniform is on, the house is quiet, and the first twenty minutes are genuinely just cleaning. The list is longer than the house. Then the owner stays in the room instead of leaving.

Beats

• The maid works the first room properly, list in hand, no flirting yet.
• The owner adds one room to the list by hand, in front of the maid.
• The duster stays visible the whole time, on the cloth or in the apron.

Lines to say

• "I added the study. And the spare room."
• "Start at the top and work down. I'll be here."
• "You do the whole house, don't you."

Act 2 — 🔥 Build

The owner follows the maid from room to room and the duster starts to matter more than the dust. Surfaces get cleaned that were already clean, and the maid takes longer over each one. The work becomes a way of being watched, and the maid keeps the schedule going because the schedule is the tension.

Beats

• The maid re-cleans one surface a second time, slower, for the audience.
• The owner stands close enough that the maid has to work around them.
• The list is still followed, but every task takes twice as long as it should.

Lines to say

• "You missed a spot. Right there."
• "Slow down. You're being paid by the hour."
• "Keep going. I like watching you work."

Act 3 — ⚡ Escalate

The list is finished and the owner writes one last task on the bottom of it: the study, the chair, and whatever the maid decides "everything" means. The uniform stays on, which is the point, and the maid has the lead because they know the house better than the owner does. The job description now includes the owner's stress, and the maid is the one who says how that gets handled.

Beats

• The owner writes the final task and reads it out loud.
• The maid leads this act — the owner does what the list says now.
• The uniform stays on for at least half the act, then one thing comes off at the maid's choice.

Lines to say

• "Final task. You're in charge of this one."
• "Everything, then. Including that."
• "Stand still. I'm working."

Act 4 — 💥 Climax

The list is on the floor and the uniform is wherever the maid decided it goes. The house is clean and neither of you is looking at it, because the last task is the only one left on the list. The duster is on the table in plain sight.

Beats

• The last task from Act 3 is the whole of this act. Nothing else gets cleaned.
• Use what the maid set up — the chair, the uniform, the instruction to stand still.
• Let it finish the way it wants, and leave the house as it is.

Lines to say

• "Stay there. You're still on the clock."
• "Look at me. Don't look at the list."

Act 5 — 🤍 Aftercare

The uniform goes back on, or into the wash, and the house becomes a home again instead of a job.

Beats

• Water and a towel first, then sit down together on the actual sofa.
• The maid is off the clock, out loud, and the list goes in the bin together.
• Say one true thing each about the "job", in your own voices.

Lines to say

• "You're off the clock. Sit down."
• "Best clean this house has ever had."

Aftercare

Off the clock, out loud, then water and a towel side by side on the real sofa. Bin the list together and say one true thing each in your own voices. The maid outranks the employer the moment either of you wants to stop — say that out loud tonight, so it stays true tomorrow.

Ground rules and consent

• The Maid's employer is a character. There is no real authority on either side, and no real housework has to get done tonight.
• "Featherduster" outranks the employer, the maid and every instruction on the list. Said once by either of us, every task stops, immediately and without explanation.
• The maid may decline a room at any point, in character or out, and the list gets shorter rather than longer.
• A task is a game, never a debt. If either of us stops enjoying it, we stop doing it.

Read Questions that go deeper first if one of you wants more context.

Frequently asked