🍽️ The Chef's Table

Who plays who

• A — The Chef: runs the table, announces every course, takes the menu very seriously.
• B — The Guest: seated, naked, and the entire restaurant.
• A serves the whole menu. B gets one course of their own in Act 4.

What you need

• Body-safe, edible food only — chocolate sauce, honey, whipped cream, fruit, ice, all safe to eat
• Everything edible stays on the outside: never near eyes or mucous membranes, and never inside the body
• A towel or mat on the table, plus a cloth you can wash and a platter to serve from
• A bin for anything that has touched skin, and a warm towel and shower for afterwards

Act 1 — 🕯️ Setup

The table is laid for one, and the one is the guest, lying naked along it with a towel underneath. A is the chef and announces the format before anything is served: at this table, every course is a body part. The first course is served to the hand, on a plate, entirely properly.

Beats

• Announce the menu out loud, course by course, before any of it begins.
• Serve the first course on a plate, to the hand, and describe the flavour as if this were a real restaurant.
• Nothing touches skin yet. The first course is a genuine bite.

Lines to say

• "Tonight every course is a body part. You are the table."
• "Close your eyes and tell me what that is."
• "This is the first course. It is not the main event."

Act 2 — 🔥 Build

The first drizzle lands on the collarbone and the meal has left the plate for good. The chef works outward from the neck, one ingredient at a time. Every course is announced before it touches skin, and every announcement is answered.

Beats

• Announce the ingredient and the body part before either arrives.
• Move outward: collarbone, sternum, ribs, wrist, palm.
• The guest may not eat anything the chef has put on them. Only the chef decides what gets cleaned off.

Lines to say

• "This one goes on the wrist. Hold it out."
• "Don't move. I don't want to waste any of it."
• "Slowly. There is no second helping."

Act 3 — ⚡ Escalate

The courses have stopped being polite and half the menu is on the guest. The chef still has to keep every course edible and on the outside, which makes each one slower and far more deliberate than a restaurant has any right to be.

Beats

• Edible, external, and nowhere near eyes or mucous membranes. That does not change, however far this goes.
• The chef uses hands and mouth now, not just spoons.
• The guest reacts only — arch, breathe, say the chef's name.

Lines to say

• "This course isn't on the menu. It's on you."
• "Hold still. It's still being plated."
• "Tell me how it tastes."

Act 4 — 💥 Climax

The platter is empty and the towel is past saving. B takes the menu and the chef has agreed to be served one course of their own — one course only.

Beats

• B leads for one course. A does not get to plate anything back.
• Everything edible and external, exactly as agreed, to the very end.
• Nobody narrates. The service is finished.

Lines to say

• "You said the guest never cooks. I'm cooking."
• "Keep your hands where I can see them, chef."

Act 5 — 🤍 Aftercare

The table is a mess, the food is cold, and you are both still lying near it.

Beats

• Shower together and wipe the table down properly. Everything that touched skin goes in the bin, never back on the plate.
• Order food in — nobody cooks again tonight — and eat it sitting down like actual people.
• One sentence each about the meal, said out loud before either of you falls asleep.

Lines to say

• "Best thing you've ever served."
• "Next time, more courses."

Aftercare

Shower the food off together, wipe the table and bin the towel, and make sure nothing edible was left on skin.,Order something in and eat it sitting down — nobody cooks again tonight.,One sentence each about the meal, then plan the next menu together, out loud, before you sleep.

Ground rules and consent

• Only body-safe, edible food, and it stays external — never near eyes or mucous membranes, and never inside the body, ever.
• The table has a towel or mat down first, and everything on it is cleaned up afterwards. Anything that touched skin goes in the bin, not back on the plate.
• "Courseware" stops the service instantly, course abandoned mid-bite, no explanation owed.
• Allergies are named out loud before a single course is opened, both directions.

There is a fuller guide in How to kiss better, if you want it.

Frequently asked